Un-expected

This is kind of a personal post, but I wanted to write about something that I am dealing with as of today..I just got my A-level results, and they were totally not what I expected. They were much lower than what I thought, and in one subject I got a U! I decided to write down what i’m feeling, and my thoughts, to help me work out what to make of the whole situation, and how to process it mentally.

Its hard not to think that because my grades were so bad, I am just not that intelligent, and toΒ blame yourselfΒ for your own inadequacies. To think to yourself ‘what did I do wrong’ or what’s wrong with me?’, especially when I tried my best in the lead up to the exams and in the actual exams themselves. Like, if that was me at my best, and I still wasn’t good enough for even a pass, then I must be extremely incapable and lacking. But, just looking over this sentence I know in my own mind that I AM NOT UNINTELLIGENT, and I am capable. I am strong, and sharp, and as long I don’t lose faith in myself I will be fine. I can use this event to shape my future going forward, and push myself to do better, and achieve something I am proud of.

Another thing I am just considering, is how when other people that you know took the same A-levels as you did, and did much better, you again look at yourself at think, ‘why did I do so bad then, what’s wrong with me’? You just feel embarrassed and ashamed, and it’s not a good time for your self esteem.

But you just have to REMEMBER, you’re in control of your future from here on out, and if you don’t like how this particular situation went, the YOU have to work to change it, and improve and make something of yourself. And who knows, this can actually push you to go even further than you would have without it!